Rebuild: Divorce

Once your divorce is final, there is still a lot that needs to be accomplished in order to set you on the right path for your financial future. From the simplest of tasks (changing beneficiaries) to the ones that really need some solid planning (overseeing asset transfers).

In short, your new financial future is largely dependent on how you set yourself up going forward. It’s all up to you now. That can be both exciting and unsettling. I choose to think of it as empowering. It's all about knowing what to do next.

It's important to understand how best to get to this new place in your life. Often, it requires changing your definition of "winning. When faced with the transition of divorce, it is easy to get caught up in the quest for “winning.” Winning can take many forms, from winning an argument to getting the best of someone in financial negotiations. Or then again, is that really winning?

There is no doubt that your impending divorce is causing you angst and gives you reasons to doubt, distrust, and in general want to no longer feel like you are “being taken” either emotionally or financially.

In reality, you are probably both feeling that way.  What was once a partnership is now becoming two individuals, each with the burden of navigating their new future plans on their own. Discussions move from “Where should we go on vacation next year?” to “I don’t want to give up the house.”

It’s time then, to redefine “winning.”  The truest way to win in a divorce is when both spouses leave the relationship financially stable and able to move on to their own secure future. When children are involved, that new definition of winning expands to include the assurance that their everyday as well as educational needs are met, and that the family can be redefined, not destroyed in the process.